Star Wars Episode VII Review: The Force Awakens Spoilers

So this little movie came out almost two weeks ago on my birthday. Not sure if you've heard about it. (Just kidding, who hasn't heard about it.)

STAR WARS EPISODE VII: THE FORCE AWAKENS!

I've now seen it twice, and I've decided that I really shouldn't see movies more than once in theaters, because the second time always ruins it for me. But, Star Wars is, well, Star Wars, so it was bound to be different, right?

       WRONG!

I guess I'll go ahead and offer a second SPOILER ALERT, just in case you missed the one in the title. (Seriously, who reads a movie review expecting no spoilers?)

Upon my second viewing of THE FORCE AWAKENS, there were just a couple of things I noticed that bothered me. I'm probably over analyzing and being hyper critical, but indulge me.

1. Poe's Jacket - So we were all a little surprised to see the return of Poe Dameron when the Resistance arrived at the now ruins of Maz' cantina. His explanation of waking up after landing a great distance from the crash site was acceptable until I remembered the jacket. You know what jacket I'm talking about; the one Poe was wearing on Jakku and Finn later recovered from the crash site. Have you figured out the problem yet?

Poe was wearing his jacket during their escape from the First Order, so how does Poe land far away from the crash site while his jacket is found hanging from the Tie fighter? Yes, I am probably nit-picking, and this is the least of my issues, but come on!

2. What happens to Maz? - Yes, her castle/cantina was destroyed, but last we see her, she is climbing out of the rubble alongside Han, Chewie and Finn. We don't see her joining the Resistance, so was she killed in the last moments of that battle or did she live to fight another day somewhere else?

3. Kylo Ren's face - Yes, his face. It's revealed to us that Kylo Ren is the son of Princess Leia and Han Solo, so why did they pick Adam Driver who looks nothing like either Harrison Ford or Carrie Fisher? I enjoyed his performance, he made a great antagonist, but seriously, couldn't they have found someone with similar looking facial features at least? If this is what Han and Leia's son looks like to those in charge of casting, I'm concerned what young Han Solo is going to look like.

4. Kylo Ren's obsession with Darth Vader - I wonder just how much Luke, Leia, and Han told him about his grandfather when he was younger. You know, I bet they didn't mention him much because they were concerned about what he would do if he knew the truth. Why do grown ups always do that? "Oh, this information about his/her relative is awful, I'd hate for them to know the truth."
"I have a solution: let's not tell them."

How often does this work? Never, because the kid always finds out somehow and makes a bigger deal out of it since his/her parents didn't trust them enough with the truth and/or the truth they find out is sightly off. Instead of telling little Kylo Ren that his grandfather was on the dark side until he turned just before he died, they probably didn't say much about him at all, so he got his information from somewhere else (likely Snoke), and this distorted information gave him the fuel he needed to create a glorified image of his grandfather to idolize.

5. Who is Lor San Tekka? - You might not know who that is, because I'm not sure his name was ever said (and if it was, sorry, I missed it), but he's the man who gives Poe the map at the beginning of the film and is soon killed off by Kylo Ren. The first time I saw the movie, I wasn't sure if we were supposed to know who he was already (since the title sequence said he was an old friend of Leia's), so I consulted my resident Star Wars expert.

My brother, I consulted my brother. He just shook his head. "No idea!" So we have this older gentleman who at the very least sympathizes with the Resistance and the Jedi, lives in Jakku (or as I like to call it, the middle of no where), and hints that he knew Leia before she was "General Organa." We also know there's some backstory between him and Kylo Ren because he knows who he is, and Kylo Ren comments on how old Lor San Tekka has become. Perhaps this will be answered in the films to come, or perhaps this question will remained unanswered til the end of time.

6. R2D2's pouting and C3PO's missing arm - So when Han, Chewie, BB8 and Finn arrive at the Resistance base, C3PO explains to BB8 that R2D2 has been in "low power mode" ever since Master Luke left. I get it, he's feeling lonely and depressed, but then he miraculously comes back out of low power mode as soon as Rey shows up at the base after they've blown up the First Order's Star Killer, and reveals that he has the rest of the map to finding Luke. How helpful! NOT! Come on R2D2, get your life together! You're in low power mode because Luke is gone, but you have 90% of the map to finding him. Why doesn't he wake back up when BB8 brings the rest of the map? I'll tell you why: because that would have made sense! If R2D2 had got up out of his funk earlier, they could have sent someone to go find Luke while they were trying to destroy the Star Killer, and Luke could have helped them out somehow, that is if he's not as useless as his pouty droid.

And it wasn't just the map R2D2 was holding on to. I didn't notice this until a friend pointed it out later, but C3PO was missing an arm when we first see him, and after R2D2 wakes back up we see C3PO with his arm back. That little droid knew exactly where C3PO's arm was and didn't say anything, probably for years. Some friend you are, R2D2!

I'm just going to reconcile myself with it but assuming it had something to do with Rey being Force-sensitive and her presence with the light saber somehow waking R2D2 out of his funk.

Alright, enough of my griping, here's some of my favorite parts:

1. That scene when Kylo Ren is having another temper tantrum after Rey's escaped and those two Storm-troopers stop and turn around. You know those guys have probably seen many of those tantrums before and they know that they don't want to be anywhere near him right then.

2. Kylo Ren's real name - You might have missed this one (but you probably didn't), when Han cries out to his son, he uses his real name, Ben. Calls to mind another Ben from the original series (Old Ben Kenobi, anyone?) So is it Ben Solo or Ben Organa? The world may never know.

3. Light saber dream sequence - I just loved the beauty of this scene, when Rey touches Luke's light saber and suddenly sees all these visions. We see a cloaked Luke Skywalker reaching out to R2D2 (connects light saber to it's past owner), a young Rey crying for her family to come back (future owner of saber?), and a clip of the duel to come between Rey and Kylo Ren. All the feels... right there.

4. Han Solo's death - Yes, I was in tears. Why would they do that to Han? I also saw it coming as soon as Kylo Ren said he knew what he needed to do and asked his father to help him. So, what was to like about this scene? A lot, actually. I love how it mimics that famous scene between Vader and Luke when the truth is revealed. I love how we see another side of the normally tame Wookie as he lashes out at the Stormtroopers in his grief and doesn't miss a shot. But most of all, I love how Han Solo reaches out and caresses his son's face as he is impaled by his light saber. When you look at Han's eyes in that moment they are filled with shock and sadness, yes, but also love. He loves his son and does what he can to show it in those last moments of his life. Based on what we know about Han Solo, I bet he wasn't the most sentimental father, so it's no wonder he blames himself for his son turning to the dark side. I think deep down Han knew what was coming too, but he still chose to make that effort and try to bring his son home because he loves Leia and their son to death.

5. Poe and Finn's instant connection - These two became brothers the minute they got on that Tie fighter. Poe clearly respects Finn for being such a risk taker and deciding for himself what was right, and Finn has someone cheering him on and celebrating him for being himself, which is something he surely didn't have as a Storm-trooper. And that brings me to #6...

6. Finn - How does a Stormtrooper become aware of the concepts of right and wrong if he's programmed to do as he's told from birth? You know what, Finn is so cool, I don't even care! He pretty much single-handedly plans his and Poe's escape and he quickly learns to fire a wide assortment of weapons aside from a blaster. He's meant to be comic relief, but I think everything about him is just so tragic and beautiful. First of all, he says he was taken from his family to become a Storm-trooper and was never given a name, if that doesn't make you want to cry, you have no heart. Finn reveals so much about the true darkness of the First Order and how he can still put on a smile and make jokes after all he's been through is eyeopening and shows his resilience and heart. Plus, he's the first Storm-trooper I've ever seen to be competent with a blaster, so I think that speaks for itself.

7. Rey - She's a solo female scavenger, expert pilot on a variety of aircraft (even though the first time she leaves the planet is on the Millennium Falcon), skilled communicator with various species and droids (how is it that Stormtroopers aren't trained to understand droids or languages other than English?), and she's for all intents and purposes the "chosen one" of this film as Luke's light saber calls to her. Rey is who I aspire to be when I grow up: eager to learn, has an incredible work ethic, and deeply longing to connect with others and find a place of belonging. Plus, she doesn't need a man to hold her hand!

P.S. I hope all of my ramblings make sense. In my defense, I am writing this at 2 AM because I can't go to sleep until I get all of this out.

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU ALL!

Sink or Swim: Why I Don't Like Swimming...

Today I had a revelation: I really don't like swimming.

It's not because swimming isn't fun, because it can be. It's also not because I don't like public swimming pools (even though they are pretty gross if you stop to think about it). My dislike pretty much boils down to two main reasons...

1. I wear glasses. Unless you wear glasses yourself, you might not realize what this means. Wearing glasses means I either can't dunk my head under the water or I take my glasses off and am essentially blind. It doesn't make much of a difference if you're playing Marco Polo, but otherwise it pretty much sucks.

2. Swimsuits are awful. This actually has nothing to do with having body image issues; it's just a fact. First you have to find a suit in your size (which is hard enough) and then you have to hope it meets your expectations for modesty (which they usually don't) and then if you're large chested like me, you have to hope it'll provide enough support. If it doesn't (and they usually don't) then you have two options: 1) buy the suit and wear a heavy duty sports bra with it, or 2) forget that suit and try your luck ordering an expensive suit that is supposedly sized to fit you. Otherwise the consequences include, but are not limited to: droop, inappropriate cleavage, and the dreaded bounce.

In the end, I find that swimming is usually not worth the hassle. So unless I'm at a pool party, I'll probably pass on taking a dip.

Am I just weird or do other people dislike swimming as well? Let me know in the comments. Thanks for reading!

His Mysterious Ways

I haven't posted anything in a while due to my being a college senior about to graduate in a few weeks. I am super excited, but realizing just how close I am to being done is really bittersweet. Looking back, I can see just how much these last four years have caused me to grow, and I have fallen in love with my University. And that is something I definitely wasn't expecting to happen. Let's rewind to four years ago and I'll explain.

When I was a High School senior, I was considering a variety of schools, and by March it was down to two. Just before I interviewed for a Presidential scholarship at one school out of state, the other (only 15 minutes from home) sent me a letter telling me that I received a full scholarship. During the interview weekend I prayed at every moment that God would make it very clear to me which school I was supposed to go to. He did.

First of all, I didn't get the Presidential scholarship. Secondly, while touring the campus I was told that the science building was going to be renovated over the next two or three years (I should note that I'm a biology major, so this would be a major inconvenience). Lastly, a few weeks after my interview a huge tornado went through the town, damaging the hotel my mother and I had stayed at. After some thought, I accepted the scholarship of the University located close to home, certain that this was where God wanted me to be for the next four years.

For my first few years there, I was convinced that meant I was going to meet my future husband there. About a year ago I realized that it probably wasn't going to happen and I had a mini breakdown. I knew God wanted me there, but if it wasn't to meet my future husband, I wanted to know why. Then I thought of all of the friends that I've made and the impact that they have had on my life and I on theirs. Somewhere along the way I was reminded that God's plan for me isn't always just for me.

I'm not going to lie and say that I don't wish I could meet my future husband right now, because that would be awesome, but His plans and timing are influenced by things that I can never know or understand. And that's OK. Wonderful even. I want to surrender my plans and desires to His will, because whose plans could possibly trump those of the Creator of the Universe? Yes, it's hard. As much as I would like to dispute it, I am a selfish, stubborn, impatient person, so letting go and giving God full control is a daily struggle, but its totally worth it.

Even now that I'm looking at Post-Grad job opportunities, God is opening doors for me that I never knew existed, and providing affirmation along the way. Yes, I still want to meet my future husband, especially since friends all around me are getting engaged and hitched right now, but I only want to meet him when God thinks we're both ready. Again, I am not that patient. Every now and then I will break down in tears asking why I haven't had a boyfriend/met my future husband yet. It is painful seeing others in love and getting married knowing that I may never get that same experience. I have to strengthen myself in the Lord and remind myself that His ways and thoughts are higher than mine and that He has important work for me during the waiting.

Random Rant about Clothing

Hello reader,

As you may have noticed from some of my past posts, I am hypercritical of today's plus size clothing selection, but there are other aspects of clothing that drive me crazy too!

First of all, what is this "one size fits all" business? Sure, you might be able to get the article of clothing on, but that doesn't mean it will look good on or that you could go out in public wearing it! Seriously, there is little more depressing than not being able to fit into something that says it should fit you. Just make different sizes and move on, please!

Secondly, why do so many formal dresses have built in bras? Specifically, why are all the built in bras made for AA cup sizes? The extra padding offers little to no support and for busty girls like me, it just makes them look bigger! I understand some girls can get away without wearing a bra with some of those fancy dresses, but in my opinion a pathetic "built-in bra" is totally unnecessary.

Last but not least: sheer clothing. I don't even understand why this is a thing. Apparently you're supposed to wear a tank top underneath it if you want to be modest (or, you know, not show off EVERYTHING), but I live in Texas and do not need all those extra layers, as thin as they may be. Not to mention the added cost of having to buy said tank top. I try not to buy anything sheer (because of all the aforementioned reasons), but everyday it seems harder and harder to find articles of clothing that are not see through! With most of them, you might as well be wearing a negligee! It shouldn't be so hard to find cute tops that are not transparent!

Am I crazy, or do these things bug anyone else as well? (Also, if you know of a store that sells opaque plus size shirts, please leave a comment!) Thanks for reading!

Body Positivity

Dear reader,

Here is my promised next post: Now that I'm almost a college graduate, I've become very nostalgic. Recently I was looking back through some old pictures from high school, and I can barely recognize myself from 9th grade. Because I was thin. Not like rail thin. Really not thin at all, actually. I think I was about a size 12-14 then, but compared to now, the difference is astounding. I think to myself, "Wow, I looked so good!" but I don't remember ever feeling like that at the time. I was too preoccupied with how fat I was compared to everyone else. Looking back at the pictures though, you can barely tell that I was bigger than everyone else. I blended in. Unfortunately, the problem with my self esteem goes way back. I was the chubby kid in elementary school, and for the majority of middle school for that matter. I was teased, some kids called me "fat" to my face, and I was miserable. Being so young, I didn't think much of my size, until I was made fun of, and I didn't understand why I was so much bigger. All of the kids at school seemed to eat the same food I did and we all did about the same amount of physical activity, so I didn't think there was anything I could do.

In middle school, my pediatrician became concerned and sent me to a nutritionist. Over the course of a year, my family improved our diet at home, switching from white bread to whole grain for example, and by the end of middle school I had lost 30 pounds. But I didn't really see a difference because the damage to my self image had been done. I never became health-obsessed, though I was always very conscious of what people thought of me, especially when I was eating. I felt their eyes watching me, judging me for the food I ate and for my size. Ironically, that was probably the best shape I have ever been in, but I couldn't appreciate it. Despite making gains towards health, during the summer between 10th and 11th grades, I broke my ankle. Over the next year and a half I had two surgeries to make repairs to my ankle, and every time I gained more weight. Exercise became even more of a challenge with my bad ankle, so I grew mostly apathetic about my weight.

In the news today, there seem to always be stories about "Body Shaming." Hearing about these stories makes my heart cry, because I have personally been the victim of people judging and making fun of my weight. You don't know what another person has been through, and if you are so bothered by a person's weight, find a more constructive way to tell them. Maybe invite them to do yoga with you instead of laughing at them behind their back. I promise you, most people who are overweight are well aware of it, and don't need you pointing it. If you're concerned for their health, and you know them well enough, tell them, but make sure to offer support when they need it. Be positive and encouraging as opposed to condescending and rude.
 

To sum it all up, my two main points are:

1. Appreciate your body. Human bodies are quite intricate and magnificent when you take the time to think about them. Your body does so much for you and it deserves your respect, whether you like how it looks or not. If you can appreciate your body for what it does, you will be one step closer to loving it.

2. Don't judge people by or for their weight. This should be common sense, but somehow it was overlooked. You don't know what others have gone through, so you have no right to judge them based on appearances only.

Hiatus Over

Hello dear reader,

If you've been keeping up with my blog (which I highly doubt because I have VERY few readers), then you have probably noticed that it has been quite some time since my last post, and for that I do apologize. Life happens, you know. There have been a few times over the past few weeks where I thought, "Hey, I should write a new blog post," but I really didn't have anything to talk about. Today that changed. Right now my head has so many different thoughts floating around in my head, and I need to share them with someone... cue you! There are three(-ish) thoughts in particular, but one greatly deserves it's own post, so there will be another one coming shortly.

Ok, here it goes:

I'm graduating in May. That has really been sinking in with tomorrow being the first day of my last semester of college. What makes it even more unsettling is that I will be student teaching. I'd be lying if I told you that I'm not terrified. And excited. And completely uncertain. And I don't think it's all because of student teaching. I'm not sure that I actually see myself teaching for a long period of time. Don't get me wrong, based on what classroom experiences I've already had, I love it, but I don't necessarily see myself doing it for 5+ years, and that scares me. Is it common for people to have these kinds of doubts when they're about to enter the real world? Maybe its because there's so many things that I still want to do. And that brings me to my next thought:

I want to be a novelist. This isn't just a lofty dream either, I've been working on a manuscript for some time now and I finally reached the 50,000 word mark the other day. And now it's 150 pages long. 150! I can't even believe that I've written that much! It's nowhere near finished, but I have a goal of submitting it for publication by the end of this year. Right now I'm super motivated and excited about it, but my fear is that in a few months that enthusiasm will die down and this dream of becoming a novelist will just fade. I don't want that to happen.

I'm sorry that I didn't have any advice or insightful thoughts to share with you in this post, I promise you the next one will have more substance. If you have any ideas for future posts, please leave a comment.

Thanks for reading.