Random Rant about Clothing

Hello reader,

As you may have noticed from some of my past posts, I am hypercritical of today's plus size clothing selection, but there are other aspects of clothing that drive me crazy too!

First of all, what is this "one size fits all" business? Sure, you might be able to get the article of clothing on, but that doesn't mean it will look good on or that you could go out in public wearing it! Seriously, there is little more depressing than not being able to fit into something that says it should fit you. Just make different sizes and move on, please!

Secondly, why do so many formal dresses have built in bras? Specifically, why are all the built in bras made for AA cup sizes? The extra padding offers little to no support and for busty girls like me, it just makes them look bigger! I understand some girls can get away without wearing a bra with some of those fancy dresses, but in my opinion a pathetic "built-in bra" is totally unnecessary.

Last but not least: sheer clothing. I don't even understand why this is a thing. Apparently you're supposed to wear a tank top underneath it if you want to be modest (or, you know, not show off EVERYTHING), but I live in Texas and do not need all those extra layers, as thin as they may be. Not to mention the added cost of having to buy said tank top. I try not to buy anything sheer (because of all the aforementioned reasons), but everyday it seems harder and harder to find articles of clothing that are not see through! With most of them, you might as well be wearing a negligee! It shouldn't be so hard to find cute tops that are not transparent!

Am I crazy, or do these things bug anyone else as well? (Also, if you know of a store that sells opaque plus size shirts, please leave a comment!) Thanks for reading!

Body Positivity

Dear reader,

Here is my promised next post: Now that I'm almost a college graduate, I've become very nostalgic. Recently I was looking back through some old pictures from high school, and I can barely recognize myself from 9th grade. Because I was thin. Not like rail thin. Really not thin at all, actually. I think I was about a size 12-14 then, but compared to now, the difference is astounding. I think to myself, "Wow, I looked so good!" but I don't remember ever feeling like that at the time. I was too preoccupied with how fat I was compared to everyone else. Looking back at the pictures though, you can barely tell that I was bigger than everyone else. I blended in. Unfortunately, the problem with my self esteem goes way back. I was the chubby kid in elementary school, and for the majority of middle school for that matter. I was teased, some kids called me "fat" to my face, and I was miserable. Being so young, I didn't think much of my size, until I was made fun of, and I didn't understand why I was so much bigger. All of the kids at school seemed to eat the same food I did and we all did about the same amount of physical activity, so I didn't think there was anything I could do.

In middle school, my pediatrician became concerned and sent me to a nutritionist. Over the course of a year, my family improved our diet at home, switching from white bread to whole grain for example, and by the end of middle school I had lost 30 pounds. But I didn't really see a difference because the damage to my self image had been done. I never became health-obsessed, though I was always very conscious of what people thought of me, especially when I was eating. I felt their eyes watching me, judging me for the food I ate and for my size. Ironically, that was probably the best shape I have ever been in, but I couldn't appreciate it. Despite making gains towards health, during the summer between 10th and 11th grades, I broke my ankle. Over the next year and a half I had two surgeries to make repairs to my ankle, and every time I gained more weight. Exercise became even more of a challenge with my bad ankle, so I grew mostly apathetic about my weight.

In the news today, there seem to always be stories about "Body Shaming." Hearing about these stories makes my heart cry, because I have personally been the victim of people judging and making fun of my weight. You don't know what another person has been through, and if you are so bothered by a person's weight, find a more constructive way to tell them. Maybe invite them to do yoga with you instead of laughing at them behind their back. I promise you, most people who are overweight are well aware of it, and don't need you pointing it. If you're concerned for their health, and you know them well enough, tell them, but make sure to offer support when they need it. Be positive and encouraging as opposed to condescending and rude.
 

To sum it all up, my two main points are:

1. Appreciate your body. Human bodies are quite intricate and magnificent when you take the time to think about them. Your body does so much for you and it deserves your respect, whether you like how it looks or not. If you can appreciate your body for what it does, you will be one step closer to loving it.

2. Don't judge people by or for their weight. This should be common sense, but somehow it was overlooked. You don't know what others have gone through, so you have no right to judge them based on appearances only.

Hiatus Over

Hello dear reader,

If you've been keeping up with my blog (which I highly doubt because I have VERY few readers), then you have probably noticed that it has been quite some time since my last post, and for that I do apologize. Life happens, you know. There have been a few times over the past few weeks where I thought, "Hey, I should write a new blog post," but I really didn't have anything to talk about. Today that changed. Right now my head has so many different thoughts floating around in my head, and I need to share them with someone... cue you! There are three(-ish) thoughts in particular, but one greatly deserves it's own post, so there will be another one coming shortly.

Ok, here it goes:

I'm graduating in May. That has really been sinking in with tomorrow being the first day of my last semester of college. What makes it even more unsettling is that I will be student teaching. I'd be lying if I told you that I'm not terrified. And excited. And completely uncertain. And I don't think it's all because of student teaching. I'm not sure that I actually see myself teaching for a long period of time. Don't get me wrong, based on what classroom experiences I've already had, I love it, but I don't necessarily see myself doing it for 5+ years, and that scares me. Is it common for people to have these kinds of doubts when they're about to enter the real world? Maybe its because there's so many things that I still want to do. And that brings me to my next thought:

I want to be a novelist. This isn't just a lofty dream either, I've been working on a manuscript for some time now and I finally reached the 50,000 word mark the other day. And now it's 150 pages long. 150! I can't even believe that I've written that much! It's nowhere near finished, but I have a goal of submitting it for publication by the end of this year. Right now I'm super motivated and excited about it, but my fear is that in a few months that enthusiasm will die down and this dream of becoming a novelist will just fade. I don't want that to happen.

I'm sorry that I didn't have any advice or insightful thoughts to share with you in this post, I promise you the next one will have more substance. If you have any ideas for future posts, please leave a comment.

Thanks for reading.